People often ask me about power – in Pagan terms. This can mean any number of things, and I’ve written about some of them in the past, from spell-power to power-over… magic, ultimately. I suspect the question refers to magical power in a Harry Potter sense more than a neoPagan manner, but it’s still valid, and often hard to talk about without feeling embarrassed. So I’m happy to explore ideas.
Sometimes, though, the hardest power to recognise, learn about and hold on to is your own. Your own life-force, yes, but also your own unique energy.
We all have this. It’s what makes us ourselves, evolved from our own life experiences, skills and passions. Not just our basic energy to get up every day and do our thing, but what keeps our life worth living.
I realized a while ago that I had to take back my power, after illness, divorce, learned behaviour… so many negative experiences, in which I’d given so much of myself away. But then I somehow forgot this lesson, as my ongoing illness made it increasingly hard to believe. I let myself fall into powerlessness, as fear, anxiety, depression and general malaise pulled me back down.
Fortunately (I promise!), when you’re at your lowest ebb, the only way to go is up. But if you haven’t sat for a while in that dark place, it’s hard to learn what brought you there, and how to keep yourself climbing back.
I’m remembering lately how I practised playing with my ‘power’ back when I first started on this Pagan path. Little magics, such as doing my best to maintain a daily practice, set a great foundation. Reminders and tricks keep my mind aware that this power exists and that I can access it – thus helping me to reconnect with the world and stick one in the eye of the nasty thoughts that tell me I can’t!
As Pagans, as those who openly work with ‘magic’, we can certainly allow ourselves to play and see what works for us. There’s no need to feel foolish, or that it’s ‘not real’ – we know that it is, as we see the effects. Whether these be put down to psychological trickery or some other ‘rational’ explanation doesn’t really matter; the proof is in the result.
Daily practice is a lovely thing. I tell all my students to try and maintain it. But every single person has days when they forget, or when life gets in the way… and that’s ok! We just have to pick it up and start again.
Make little rituals to keep you reminded throughout the day, that you still have your power. A lot of this is dependent on mindfulness, pausing to really focus on these tiny spells, but that also helps bring you back to yourself. I’ve often done these in public, with a secret smile as my apparently ‘normal’ activities are actually far more.
So, small ideas:
- Take ‘me’ time with your tea break. Stir your drink clockwise, honouring the restorative strength that it will bring to you, and then be aware of that as you drink it down.
- Light a little candle and sit with it for a few minutes. Feel the warmth and light from this delicate flame. Feel the flame inside you.
- Pay attention to your breathing. Slow it down, or keep it regular – this is great to practice when exercising! Breath is your life energy, after all. It proves you’re still here and doing.
- If you have a piece of special jewellery that you wear for luck, hold on to that as a reminder of what’s important to you. Remember why.
- Be tactile. Feel your feet on the floor, or reach out to touch a tree as you pass by. The earth is always around us, holding us up. Pause to feel the air around you, the sun on your face… the elements that we hold within and around us.
A big aspect of taking back and holding on to your personal power is also doing things for you. What activities do you do that really fire you up? Not for anyone else (although loved ones may enjoy your shenanigans!), but purely and completely you? What makes you bounce with enthusiasm, inside and out?
I had a time of being told to ‘stop being silly’ or ‘that’s not really you’ with regard to certain activities I liked – but no, I did actually enjoy them! Naysayers or controlling folk can project themselves so hard that it’s difficult to tear your own truth away. Yes, I like a particular type of music – so I’ll listen to it, and dance around to express that! Cheesy movies that make me laugh, fun books that engross my mind, trivial computer games, creating in my own style… whatever it is that’s your thing.
Fear and shame pull power away. Stand still and breath, saying quietly but firmly: ‘NO’. Imagine a hand held up as a barrier. This can be an incredibly powerful act. Reaffirm your Self. And if you’ve forgotten quite what that is, feel free to explore, to try things out, see what feels good and what doesn’t work for you. Be honest. As you learn what’s yours again, you’ll find others love when you share that energy. You will, in turn, inspire them as you’re inspired.
As we re-call our own power, it helps us to recognise when it falters, or when others try to push it down. There’s no need for anger, although such times can be frustrating – laughter can be a great deterrent.Recognising what drags you down also helps, as you work to find what protects against that.
Keeping hold of yourself can take practice, especially in such a busy world with so many demands on us, but it’s essential if we are to walk our own way, in our own truth, on our own adventures.
PS: Today, I actually have very little physical power, and a rather furry brain. But I wanted to prove that I could make something worth sharing – so here it is. Doing my best, in the knowledge that my readers can too x
The Catbox 